Champagne and oysters are a classic wine and food pairing. It has also been beaten into our heads that Cabernet Sauvignon and steak are inseparable like Calvin and Hobbes. However instead of giving you the best, we’re going to give you the worst wine and food pairings. Why? Sometimes learning what not to do helps more.
Is a bad pairing really that bad?
Certain pairings are guaranteed to give you a hangover and some pairings will make you double over with acid pain. So unless you have a lifetime supply of Tums you might want to listen up.
Certain pairings are guaranteed to give you a hangover and some pairings will make you double over with acid pain. So unless you have a lifetime supply of Tums you might want to listen up.
Remember, a true perfect pairing is where two elements come together and create something even better.
 |
If you’re drinking water in between each taste of food and wine, then the pairing is not working. Cut your losses and drink wine after dinner. |
You’re at a restaurant rolling on someone else’s money, or you just robbed a bank and really want to go all out and enjoy yourself. You might find yourself guilty of The Dispicable wine and food pairing. Greed is to blame; you’re trying too hard to enjoy everything all at once.
 |
Cabernet Sauvignon & Caviar - It’s like drinking canned grape juice in a swamp. |
|
Short Ribs & Moscato - The ribs will eviscerate the delicate flavors of Moscato. |
This pairing happens a lot when you pick things based on what you like and don’t think about pairing together. The Mismatch wine and food pairing happens at restaurants when you order your drinks first and then your dinner. Take a little extra time to pick a good match. The wine may not be your favorite on its own but it will work better with food.
 |
Chianti & Tuna Salad - Tuna will make Chianti taste metallic and the vinegar will bring out tannin and sour. |
You just took a bath and want to indulge in all of your passionate cravings. The Hangover Maker wine and food pairing happens late at night when all your defenses are down. High sugar paired with alcohol is one of the leading causes of hangovers and wine headaches.
 |
Red Wine & Chocolate Cake - Red Wine & Chocolate Cake - Chocolate will dominate the wine and your head. Go for a tiny glass of Port and be done. |
|
Chardonnay & Ice Cream - This pairing sounds great but it’s not worth the headache. A small glass of white dessert wine like Sauternes will do better. |
The quickest way to nuking your mouth. After a Palate Destroyer wine and food pairing, you’ll find it difficult to taste anything at all. All you need to do is turn up the volume on the 6 basic flavors of wine and food.
 |
Syrah and Sweet & Sour Chicken - A big, juicy wine with a sauce that dominates your mouth. You might as well finish yourself off with a cup of coffee, a glass of milk and a grapefruit. |
The fastest way to make you hurt with overly rich food and wine. Typically, high fat foods and high alcohol or high acid wines are to blame. Small doses of The Gut Punch taste amazing but an overdose will have you agonizing over your helpless belly.
|
Burgundy & Lasagna - The acidity in the cheese, tomato sauce and wine is enough to peel out the insides of your stomach. |
This may be one of the more common mistakes when pairing food and wine. The Overshadow wine and food pairing is something that great restauranteurs and sommeliers pay special attention to.
|
Viognier & Lemon Tart - Viognier in all its delicate floral notes will be totally overshadowed by a dessert tart. |
You know the guy who only drinks Cabernet Sauvignon. Or that lady friend who prefers white wine because she swears red wine gives her a headache. The “I Only Drink…” wine and food pairing has them sized up.
|
Chardonnay & Chorizo - Oh, we’re having Mexican food and I want a wine? Chardonnay will taste more flat and limpid against spicy ethnic foods. |
|
Merlot & Artichokes - I hate to break it to you but, if you love artichokes, brussel sprouts, green beans and chard, red wine is not your bag. Look into brisk white wine, sherry and sparkling wine as a new favorite. |
What are you guilty of?